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| Fact that the Egg Carriers look like they're dressed in expired condoms... |
The Grammy's that rundown, basic ass excuse of a awards show last night?!!? The same show that got bested by the MTV VMA's and the BECoon Awards (checks temperature, nah Debra Lee isn't holding a pitchfork to my back to make me say that...) the Grammy's should've been named the Country Music Awards at the Grammy's with several guest spots by other artists....
The Alright
Aretha Franklin - That tribute save for J. Hud, Martina, Yo Yo Adams and Xtina (bless her struggling heart) was lukewarm at best... But to see the Queen of Soul on that live-video feed looking about the same size as one of her former titties was DOPE! Re Re is about ready to style on yall hoes... YOU GO GIRLLLL -Martin voice-
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Janelle Monae - Janelle is definitely a ball of energy and I wish her all the best and a long career although she's letting the Crucifier of Careers aka Diddy manage her... Janelle please have a look at the Bad Boy Roster that reads like a Career Obituary and govern yourself and most importantly your career importantly...
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Justin Bieber featuring Usher - I only put the Bieb's in the ALRIGHT category because he held down his dance moves somewhat and his lil opening montage was dope.... Vocals and Jaden Smith in them leopard ass pants doe... NAWL!! Then Usher came huffing and puffing on stage like he got water on his knees... Usher aint the same no more man!
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Rihanna featuring Drake (What's My Name) - Rihanna's vocals (if we can call it that) were never her strong point, but she looks good, has swag, knows how to sell a hit and she's been upping her performance and stage presence which is NICE. I see she been watching some Daggering and Vybz Kartel videos WHINE YA BUTTY GAL!! Drizzy held down his bar but man, learn how to really put something on all that when its on your lap...
The Ladies - CLAWD HA MERCY!! Did yall see J.Lo, Rihanna, Eva Longoria,
HAVE ANY OF YOU BEEN BLOWN AWAY AS YET?? NO? CARRY ON? Aite
Click READ MORE (below) for THE BAD & THE WTF!!
The Bad
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| Ignores Mick's Emerald Green suit... I see you Raphael Saadiq!! |
Mick Jagger - Mick, Mick, Mick can I call you Mickey? Anyway dog, hungry? Here I insist!! Mick Jagger looks like he got STONE COLD STUNNED through the Cheerios of Life age first! Nig life has not been kind to you, nor has the drugs and alcohol.
Bob Dylan - YEAH I LISTED ROBERT FUCKING DYLAN in the bad!! Music Icon or not! He sounded like Ms. Geri singing them vocals with the group I'm sure has performed for the Tea Party and had members of the KKK doing the Harlem Shake in their living rooms.. Another case of life not being kind to your #SelfofSteam or vocal chords... Anyway man I don't want to slander the man anymore...
Eminem feat Rihanna, Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey - Hmmmm Eminem, we get it bro, you're angry, you've been through some things, battled drug addiction, left your wife, hate your mama. But bro when you win an award can you try to look like you're happy and not like you got selected for Jury Duty? This nigga is just too angry man! That performance of Love The Way You Lie Pt. 2 and I Need a Doctor was WHACKTOAST Intolerant and your whole sully demeanour killed that performance. The fact that I didn't even think your Recovery album was all that was... Good thing Skylar Grey saved your performance. Dr. Dre WE DON'T CARE ABOUT DETOX ANYMORE, let that ish go, with ya big ass white Air Force 1's...
The Whisky Tango Foxtrot
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| Its a Brontosaurus searching right now for its egg... |
Lady GaDAMNIdothemostallthetime - At this point in my life, at 25 almost 26, I am pretty much over the Lady Gaga machine. I kept getting tweets that Gaga was arriving in an egg, when I finally saw it I could only look away and sigh. Why she gotta be so EXTRA all the time man? Then she sang that tragic ass Madonna knock off of a song 'Born This Way'... Beyonce aint have to do all this shit for some shine!!
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| I'm High! |
Cee-Lo Green - The fact that I thought I was higher than giraffe coochie watching Cee-Lo and some muppets; he was dressed in Toucan Sam's overweight ass uncle's feathers, there were some Muppets singing and Gwyneth Paltrow randomly slid and gyrated all over a piano...tell me that aint some HIGH on Shrooms shit! Never again! I couldn't even focus on the joy and glee that is 'Fuck You' after seeing that spectacle. Cee-Lo topped the whole thing off with some trimond and sequined swim cap at that point I was just waiting for the ambulance... Oh Gwyneth your voice wasn't it either dawg.
P.S. According to Necole Bitchie for those of you wondering "She wore a pair of multi-colored Christian
http://www.comewatchme.com/cee-lo-green-muppets-gwyneth-paltrow-forget-2011-grammy-performance.html
Lady Anti-Belly - Sigh that song was OK!! Played the HELL OUT but aite...But the Grammy's know how to kill a good thing dead, do you think Lady Anti-perspirant had to dominate the awards and the performances like that? When I saw them perform that Teddy Pendergrass tribute and act like Eddy Levert, Tyrese, Brian McKnight an nem weren't available I knew this night would be WHACK! They won Record of the Year and Song of the Year and 3 other awards for that damn Country emo cut 'Need You Now'...
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| Beliebers... YALL MAD HUH? |
Esperanza Spalding - Mam, other than that BET Awards tribute you did to Prince I had never eem heard of you, but you had my jaw along with Justin Bieber, Drake, Florence and the Machine, Mumford and Sons and the rest of the Bieber stans speechless when you came and smanged the whole ceremony... The fact that I called you Empanada Spalding, Enchilada Spalding, Ellie Mae Spalding, Ella Mae Spalding and Luvvie called you Esmerelda Spalding for real.. I was like yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah you on that real UNDER THE RADAR shit!!
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| Play dead...just play dead.. |
Christina Aguilera - BIG OLE PRECIOUS SIGH, man you had just redeemed yourself somewhat with that Re Re Franklin tribute then you had to add to your Loss column by tumbling down on your way off the stage... Add that to the Star Spangled Superbowl EFF Up, your weight, your pale looks, your last album that went Brick on the Billboard charts and that movie and yeah. You're about to lose as much as Nas and Lil Kim...
Overall the Grammy's this year were lukewarm and borderline a snooze fest, I had wayyy too many times to go to the bathroom, clip my toenails, do my taxes, rearrange my sock jaw and talk shit with my homeys. The Live-Tweets keep it interesting but meh.... DO BETTER and the In Memoriam Portion was poorly done! Until next year I guess..
