Cloud 10's Think Tank (SOUND OFF) Confessions from a Strip.....Club

You Mad Huh?? -drops a single dollar-

Yes ladies and gents, an upstanding soldier of King Jesus (read: God is currently working on upgrading me still and he's not done as yet) like myself on occasion (read: once in a while) will patron a tooty bar here or there just to be some moral support to my homeys (read: because I can).  Yes, yes, yes you prudes!  My girlfriend was WELL AWARE of my whereabouts so before you hit 'Send' on that FB message, she KNOWS. #Bazinga

Anyway I just have a few observations, concerns, confessions and other random things that come to me as I type this recollections of my rendezvous on Saturday night to celebrate my homey Simone's 23rd bithday.  #Anywaydoe so we arrive at the club and find some seats, this was my first time at this particular establishment (Pigale's) which if you're familiar with Ottawa, is on the Gatineau side.  Let me tell you the schematics of Pigale's its two floors of debauchery with like 3 different stages and cameras showing what you're missing on the other floor so already my head was swiveling.

So we weren't feeling the poor man/underage club section downstairs so we made a beeline for where the real girls were at.. Upstairs! (not like I was excited or pressed or anything....) Once upstairs the swivel was on 360, some real Linda Blair shit!  I couldn't help but notice the amount of women flitting and jiggling back and forth.  Most of the clubs I've been to (sparingly of course) have had 10 girls max on the floor trying to coax (read: thirstily beg) patrons to contribute to their mutual funds, car note, rent (let's keep it 1 Hunnid, you're paying their bills like it or not).

At this point I spot about 3 bad bishes that I would consider making it rain some McDonald's coupons and nickels for (if I were single of course ^_^) this last sentence is further proof of #TheMonetaryStruggle I'm currently enduring.. Anyway the fact that it was only 3 girls who were on BAD BISH STATUS, this meant all the other girls who called themselves working someone's stage and pole. -PAUSE-

READ THE REST OF THE DEBAUCHERY BY CLICKING 'Read More'

Advice:   Please, please, please if you're working at a strip club with a Dunlap (belly dunlapped over your string bikini), have 4 poon juice smeared seats all the way ------>).  I guess some guys like that extra cushion, rolls and folds but me, I'm good.  The most you need to be stripping off is a piece of weave, maybe an earring and toe ring?

Oh, Oh, yall would not believe that sight that arrested my eyes, this was something Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator and R.Kelly would be ALL OVER (for different reasons of course).  Anyway standing beside me was this little bitty ass, pre-pubescent looking little girl in some too big 13" heels, no chest whatsoever or body that I can report.  Yup, I put that on the God of Shadrack, Meshach and Billy Goat that I just wanted to ask her to have a seat in one of those attached desk/chair seats.  That disturbed me deep down in my appendix man oh wait that was just gas... -poots-

Dear Skrippas, please remember that unless you're auditioning for Julliard or America's Best Dance Crew or the Strip Club Revival of Flashdance, keep those melodramatic, emo ass songs for your bedroom.  Noooooo we don't want to see you strip lazily to Bon Jovi or Queen.  There are way too many Purveyors of the Strip like Akinyele, Uncle Luke, Too Short, E-40, Lil Kim, Ludacris who have a wide array of appropriate rump-shaking songs for you to dance to.  Please watch this to see how it should be done HERE!

This leads me to reporting the girl who clearly had a problem with comprehension and song choice when she was twerking something serious to Keri Hilson's (a beacon of exemplary, fine womanhood btw -coughs) Pretty Girl Rock.  MAM?! WAIT WHAT? Isn't that song a tribute to female strength, empowerment and positive #SelfofSteam?

Keri Hilson had to know the TRUTH about the Bastardization of her song. 

Props to the girls who look like they took a pole dancing class or watched a video about the art seduction and how to work a stage and crowd.  The rest of yall doe, please call the ladies over there at Magic City to conduct a workshop/seminar/webcast something!  The fact that you resemble a giraffe in a tree while on a pole while being built like an ATM (next time you see an ATM envision it with some weave, a string bikini and heels).

All in all a very interesting night, with interesting sights, shout out to the strippers who claim they're only stripping to pay their way through school! Mam YOU LIE (c) Joe Wilson voice, but you make more than I see in 2 weeks so PROPS TO YOU!!

LV

Cloud 10's New Music Spot

Got some hot stuff for yall today from the likes of Wiz Khalifa, a megamix for Philly featuring a whole boatload of artists, Nicki Minaj's appearance on SNL with SNL band 'The Lonely Island' and her Moment 4 Life video featuring Drizzy Drake, Natalie Stewart (formerly of Floetry's) very daring, slightly NSFW video for Let Me and many more!! 

Philly (Mega Mix) - Young Chris feat. Eve, Black Thought, Diggy Simmons, Money Malc, Fat Joe, Fred The Godson, Jermaine Dupri and Game (Man everyone held their own on this track!!!)


On My Level - Wiz Khalifa featuring Too Short (Dear Wiz, I'm over all the Mary Jane references dawg, you're becoming the Game of  marijuana... SWITCH IT UP!!)


Pledge Allegiance to Dope - Kidz In The Hall featuring Curren$y and Mikkey Halstead (Never heard of Mikkey Halstead but yeah its aite...)


Let Me - Natalie Stewart aka The Floacist (Good idea but only on paper, I'm sorry but not everyone needs to be artistic with a glue gun and some glitter, mam you're playing bald headed games right now and its not alright....)


Dime Piece - Maino (This Lex Luger produced track knocks kinda hard don't ya think??)


The Creep - The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer & Jorma Taccone) featuring Nicki Minaj (LOL these guys are hilarious and their 2nd album drops soon)


Moment 4 Life - Nicki Minaj featuring Drake (Young Money's Prince and Princess have done it again!! Really been digging this track, shout out to my homey Tim for sending this over!) 

LV

Cloud 10 Status (FOR MY LADIES): Manolo Blahnik Military Ankle Cuff Sandals

Literally and figuratively you will be on POW status with these army/armory inspired shoes.  Very seductive if you ask me, I love how their barely there, but the parts that tie your feet securely in are a cuff made up of silver chains and bullets.  These are definitely for ladies with pretty toes and SWAGGER on a Hundred Thousand Trillion!!

-cues Fabolous' You Be Killing Em-

Would yall rock these ladies?

Available via Neiman Marcus for around $895.

Via: Highsnobette

LV

Cloud 10 Status: Stylezine (Cover Teaser) Love/Hate Issue

Ah boy the Stylezine Team has me excited again! The new teaser cover has been released and features prominent Nassau disc jockey (when is the last time you heard the term disc jockey?) DJ Chronic.  The issue features contributions from myself LV, Jamal Smith, Lurielle Cole of F.A.B Boutique, Cashera Rolle, Macarra F, Viilliere Cartwright, Muffy Charlton and James McKinney.  The dopest talent is sitting right in the Bahamas, Stylezine is a vessel for the projection of said talent!!

Make sure you guys stay tuned as I will post the link once the magazine hits the Stylezine site!!

DJ CHRONIC [Love/Hate Issue]
Photography by ScharadL
Assisted by Leo Creary
Shot on location: Ron's Auto
Copyright Stylezine Magazine© 2011
www.stylezinemagazine.com
www.twitter.com/stylezine



LV

Cloud 10 Status: Air Jordan 2011 "Year of The Rabbit"

This is the year of the Bugs Bunny, Peter Cottontail, Roger Rabbit's of the world.  Yes Chinese around the world are championing the dopeness of the Bunny and being the capitalistic corporation that they are, Nike has decided to release a commemorative edition of their Air Jordan exclusively for the Chinese market. 

"The Year of the Rabbit Air Jordan 2011 comes as an exclusive release for the Chinese market, celebrating their New Year, and along with it the Chinese Zodiac sign under which Michael Jordan himself was born, the Rabbit. Drawing inspiration from traditional “red packets” the shoes come packaged in a detailed red and gold box. Available February 3, 2011."

These actually look LOWKEY, somewhat dope... You know I don't fuggs with the Coons and their obsession with Jordan's (see Cool Greys reaction) but I will give props where props are due.  If you got a Chinese connect I suggest you get in touch with them RIGHT NOW!!


Click Read More for more images of the sneakers and packaging!!

 Via: Highsnobiety 

LV

Cloud 10 Status: Dunhill Carbon Fiber Wallet

I swear life is just getting fancier and fancier by the day, Dunhill has developed a very sleek wallet made of carbon fiber that requires your finger print to gain access to the wallet.  -cues Ooohs and Aaaahs-

Let's discuss a few of the features: "The carbon fiber makes the wallet durable and light and only the fingerprint of the holder will make it possible to open the wallet. Also the wallet is equipped with a Bluetooth connection and battery life is estimated at 3 weeks."

I pray to Wall Street Jesus sitting in a Brioni suit that after 3 weeks I will still have access to my muffugging MONEY! I mean right now my debit cards are merely decorating my wallet (I need a new one btw) but, I digress, Dunhill fix that soon man!  How about a solar panel?

Via: Highsnobiety

LV

Cloud 9 Status: Whisky Tango Foxtrot (WTF): Taco Bell's 'Beef'...

You know I had always suspected that Taco Bell's beef was the combination of everything that was wrong with society during the Watts riots and now this recipe that just got released since Taco Bell was recently sued for false advertising confirms what I suspected.

Taco Bell's 'beef' is merely a pinch of ground beef anus, Keri Hilson's ground down corn shavings, a sprinkle of white guilt, a splash of Jermaine Jackson activator, a teaspoon of Michael Jackson's original nose and some of Gary Coleman's ash that gives it that signature juicy yet dry texture..

The actual recipe is rumored to contain "35% beef with the rest being water, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent and modified corn starch.

According to official reports: "The meat mixture sold by Taco Bell restaurants contains binders and extenders and does not meet the minimum requirements set by the U.S. Department of Agriculture to be labeled as "beef," according to the legal complaint.

Attorney Dee Miles said attorneys had Taco Bell's "meat mixture" tested and found it contained less that 35 percent beef.
The lawsuit on behalf of Taco Bell customer and California resident Amanda Obney does not seek monetary damages, but asks the court to order Taco Bell to be honest in its advertising...

I was more surprised by Sammy Sosa's dramatic skin transformation than I was with this tidbit of rundown information.  I never fugged with Taco Bell that often, that FRAUDULENT ASS EXCUSE of 'beef' it just never looked right sitting there, like some reclaimed diarrhea from a college dorms septic system.. NAWL! As someone who was born with Freedom Papers in hand I refuse to eat this poor excuse for some slave scrappings.. NOPE, NOT NOW, NOT EVER! 100% beef for me.. WE'SE FREE!

Via: Geekologie

LV

Cloud 10 Status: Brooks England Leather Barbican Bag

Traditionally adorning the shoulders of avid cyclist this Barbican Bag has the appeal for anyone that appreciates style, durability and performance.  I was a bit perplexed as to how exactly one would wear this bag but after closer examination I get the design and aesthetic!  Beautiful bag, awesome use of contrasting materials and stitching.

DYLAN

Via: Hypebeast

LV

Cloud 10 Status (FOR MY LADIES): Giddy Spinster 'Planter' Stilettos

For my super trendy ladies with a green thumb, these 'planter' stilettos can be for you.  These are pretty cool and I can see some of these being actual shoes, this would be an awesome opportunity for an artist/shoe designer to be inspired by nature.

According to Highsnobette: "Artist Rachel Mahlke’s concept for her up-cycled stiletto planters is a statement ” about hard-working women, the increasingly artificial nature of American femininity, and the impossible images that women face in our society. It’s a prickly, spiky, sticky situation…” With names like Floozy, 50 ft. Woman  the collection takes cheeky home decor to new heights."  


They retail for about $60 over at Etsy along with some other cool items!


What are your thoughts ladies??


Via: Highsnobette


LV

Dagger Tattoo...

My very good friend Mike came in the shop to get a dagger on his forearm that held a personal message and meaning for himself. I've always digged dagger tattoos, probly because I was obsessed with the VCJ artwork that decorated Powell Peralta skate decks back in the 80's. His dagger designed for the Tommy Guerrero board was wicked. That design was part inspiration for this tattoo in that they both have skulls on the handle. Thanks again Mike, your a great friend, and a great person who allows me to do sick tattoos on!

Cloud 9 Status: Whisky Tango Foxtrot (WTF): Sperry x Band of Outsiders 'Sasquatch'

Is there an Abominable Snowman Appreciation Convention coming up that I didn't know about?  That's one of the 3 places in life (yes all of life).  Sperry and Band of Outsiders, if this isn't the most blatant EFF YOU to P.E.T. that I have ever seen and I love seeing P.E.T.A get riled up. 

When the fugg is it ever THAT COLD for you to have your feet covered up in a ball of fur doe? I understand a little bit of trim to compliment your shoe but sir.. Aesthetically these aren't even easy on the eyes, really they just look sloppy as hell!!

Good thing they may never see the light of day! Just for show folks, we can breathe a sigh of relief because I know some 'unique' minded individuals would've RAN with these. 

SO WOULD YALL WEAR THESE OUT??

Via: Selectism 

LV

Cloud 10 Status: Vacheron Constantin Patrimony Traditionelle World Time

REAL GLOBE TROTTERS really should be the only ones viewing this particular blog post.  Peasants and wanna be ballers like myself we should just focus on the Timex, Citizen and Bulova's of the world because this bad boy here!  This Vacheron Constantin Patrimony Traditionelle World Time Watch  (I DARE YOU TO CLICK THAT LINK TO SEE THE SCHEMATICS OF THIS WATCH) the one pretentious enough to have an entire sentence as its name is really out of this world. 

"The watch can not only tell the time in multiple time zones across the globe, but can simultaneously display all 37 of them, even the countries who have a half-hour or quarter-hour time difference."  It goes without saying any watch that lists the international destinations that many of us can only dream of visiting is just straight DYLAN (Hot Fiyah)

Price not even considered to be mention so just imagine a number with several commas in it...

Via: Acquire

LV

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have this as his desktop wallpaper. I knoiw its UGA, but its my friend.

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